Transitarian and proud

In the 1999 movie "Notting Hill," Hugh Grant's character, William, is having dinner with friends when he learns his blind date is a fruitarian:

• William: And, ahm: what exactly is a fruitarian?
• Keziah: We believe that fruits and vegetables have feeling so we think cooking is cruel. We only eat things that have actually fallen off a tree or bush - that are, in fact, dead already.
• William: Right. Right. Interesting stuff. So, these carrots...
• Keziah: Have been murdered, yes.
• William: Murdered? Poor carrots. How beastly!

OK. So I'm twisted and find this hopelessly funny. Of course, others are deadly serious. How serious? Check out www.fruitarian.com or this Wikipedia explanation.

But then I'm serious about the need for more people to get out of their cars and onto transit.

I'm a transitarian. (Not to be confused with the Spanish third-person plural of transitar in the conditional.)

What's a transitarian? A transitarian is so enamored with transit, so invested in the good that comes from leaving the car at home, that he takes light rail from Watt/I-80 to 12th and I streets and then walks nine blocks in the rain to get to an important appointment at 20th and J streets.

A transitarian, therefore, often resembles a drowned rat, his jacket soaked through, his slacks wet from midthigh down to his squishy-wet shoes. But inside, beneath that wet exterior, is a proud transitarian and a "Save the Children" trademark tie designed by Cherise - Age 6, titled "Raining cats and dogs."